No Joke: Slate Magazine Calls For An End To White Santa Claus Images, Suggests Using Penguin Instead

No Joke: Slate Magazine Calls For An End To White Santa Claus Images, Suggests Using Penguin Instead

According to Slate Magazine, depicting Santa Claus as a white man is racist or discriminatory or something. Their suggestion? Depict him as a penguin instead.

The world is losing its mind right before our eyes.

At Slate Magazine via Weasel Zippers.

And so I propose that America abandon Santa-as-fat-old-white-man and create a new symbol of Christmas cheer. From here on out, Santa Claus should be a penguin.

That’s right: a penguin.

Why, you ask? For one thing, making Santa Claus an animal rather than an old white male could spare millions of nonwhite kids the insecurity and shame that I remember from childhood. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, Santa is one of the first iconic figures foisted upon you: He exists as an incredibly powerful image in the imaginations of children across the country (and beyond, of course). That this genial, jolly man can only be seen as white—and consequently, that a Santa of any other hue is merely a “joke” or a chance to trudge out racist stereotypes—helps perpetuate the whole “white-as-default” notion endemic to American culture (and, of course, not just American culture).

Plus, people love penguins. There are blogs dedicated entirely to their cuteness. They’re box office gold. Most importantly, they’re never scary (in contrast to, say, polar bears and reindeer). Most kids love Santa—because he brings them presents. But human Santa can be terrifying—or at least unsettling.

You just can’t make this madness up.

  • JBlaze

    Bah humbug

  • Mary Crohan

    What Morons!!! I would be embarrassed to even let someone know I was thinking this! What total IDIOTS!!

    • James Marcum

      not half as slutty as your mom

      • Mary Crohan

        James, My mom died in 1982 of cancer, she was only 48. What a classless piece of s**t you are.

  • CowboyUp Mayer

    Ha Ha that’s funny it will never happen Slate Magazine can go piss up a flag pole
    Santa is a icon that children know all over the world !

  • James Mortiere

    Penguins? Now the Catholic Nuns will be offended.

  • Jane Bagwell

    well now, penguins are black. And they waddle. How is that less racist than a fat white man?

  • Anthony Salinas

    Penguins not scary…I guess he has never seen Batman

  • Brian Bigley

    First off morons you would have to move Santa’s work shop to the South Pole since that’s were penguins live. Secondly ARE YOU SERIOUS, again hundreds of years of tradition thrown away for political correctness you people are again proving that the left is a bunch of New World Order nutbags that should be locked up in some kind of asylum, perhaps at the abandoned North Pole workshop were Santa and the elves no longer have a job. Of course that could also be because of global warming ….ha ha ha ha idiots

  • John

    This man needs a psychiatrist. He is obviously f**ked up.

  • Thomas J. Butman

    White people can no longer represent anything Good. Because WE are racist. HOLY COW!!!! WHO do we have to thank for this crap???

    • DelRanger

      Thomas, we have the white liberals to thank for this outrageous, out of control, F*^ckin nonsense.

      • Thomas J. Butman

        I don’t want to argue over semantics so I won’t. I will simply agree with you that liberals Are to blame.

  • John B

    Slate should adopt the cuckoo as it’s logo.

    • roddaddy

      not a white cuckoo though.

  • DelRanger

    I don’t think there are any black people living in the North Pole. This crying ” racism” about everything in our country is really getting out of control. Now, it is at the point of just being like a boring, old joke.

  • Michael Areno

    Yep. Christmas is all about making Aisha Harris happy. Glad we clarified that. Ha Ha Ha

  • CSHJ

    So let the Blacks have whatever they want for Santa and the rest of us can stick with good old fat white jolly Santa. They can have the south pole and leave the north pole alone! Idiots

  • Diamanical Johnson

    Never gonna happen.
    Everyone knows that if a black man enters a house through a chimney the bag is empty coming in and full going out.

    • James Marcum

      OH SNAP!!!!!!

  • missmyelk

    Considering St. Nicholas was white in real life kind of hard to have a ageless representation of him as anything but!

  • CraxyD

    The modern figure of Santa Claus is derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas, which, in turn, was part of its basis inhagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of Christian bishop and gift giver Saint Nicholas.

    Dutch or German origins… Doesn’t that make him white by default?

    • roddaddy

      thats what i was gonna say craxy, and Kris Kringle was white as well.

  • Robert

    I think we ought to call an end to Slate Magazine who ever they are not only that if they are crazy enough to think Santa Clause is racist did they not notice the penguin is black that is reverse discrimination people!!! lol What idiots!! Next they will ask to change Washington on the dollar bill because he was white.

    • jonathondf

      No such thing as reverse racism, just racism. And it’s always ugly, no matter where it comes from.

  • jonathondf

    She probably likes penguins because they are known to have sex with anything, same sex, opposite sex, dead penguins of either sex, baby penguins of either sex, etc.

  • Wayne A. Rivet

    A black Santa Clause? Now this will have the crazy people from PETA upset! Because instead of leaving out cookies for Santa, we’ll have to leave out fried chicken and water-melon!

  • Dan Matchik

    idiot ! the reindeer would stomp the penguin !

  • Joanneo

    Our forefathers invented Santa Clause in their image. If others want a different image, they can invent their own. We will keep ours.

  • Diamond Nights

    PC Insanity! Santa Claus is based on St. Nicholas (a white European). Modern day Santa Claus was created in Holland (again white Europe) based on the saint. There is no black Santa.

    Also, penguins are from Antarctica: literally the polar opposite of the North Pole. Why not use a polar bear to represent Santa?…. Oh that’s right, because polar bears are white!