I happen to have that technology at my disposal, thanks to a generous gift from the Our Creator foundation.  It’s amazingly efficient, and I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to use it.  It’s called Your Own Two Eyes.  And, without further ado, let’s crank it up and see what happens.

Oh, wow!  Would you look at that?  It’s like a perfect reproduction of the top of the Drudge Report homepage!  Based on what I can see here, it appears there may be a potentially negative story about Newt Gingrich behind the link under that photo of Ronald Reagan.  But, in fairness, there’s some smaller text just above the photo that’s not very easy to read on account of the small print.

Perhaps there’s something more positive about Newt up there.  Why don’t we fire up Your Own Two Eyes again and see if it’ll zoom in a little closer on that text?  Let’s see here . . .

Hmm.  That doesn’t really look much better for Newt.  At this point, one could be forgiven for jumping to the conclusion that Matt has it in for the old Speaker of the House.  But, in the blogging business, it pays to be diligent.  And one of the first rules of blogging (that I made up just now) is that you can’t judge a book by its cover.  So, it would probably be a good idea to look a little further into things before making any judgments.

Let’s fire up Your Own Two Eyes and scan down the page again to see if maybe the more Newt-friendly stuff is located below the banner headlines.  After all, that’s what the scroll bar is for, right?  Let’s see here . . .

Well, let’s see here.  Based on what’s revealed by Your Own Two Eyes in this down-the-page scan, there are four stories which, based on their headlines, one can conclude are not friendly to Newt Gingrich. Also, there are two stories which seem to indicate a pro-Romney tilt.  So, based on what we’ve seen so far, it would be easy to get the impression that Matt Drudge tends to favor the awkward, French-speaking, Massachusetts Republican who, by the way, didn’t serve in Vietnam.

But, lest we be too hasty in our judgments, let’s take one last scan of the Drudge Report homepage to see if there might still be some pro-Newt coverage that we’ve simply overlooked here.  So far, though, Your Own Two Eyes seems to picking up a fairly strong pro-Mitt/anti-Newt bias.  But, it does pay to be thorough in matters like these, as sometimes there are statistical anomalies that work themselves out in the final analysis.

Well.  I’m not sure what to make of this, but based on what’s uncovered here by Your Own Two Eyes, there appear to be four more links with potentially anti-Newt slants.  I’m going to have to contact Our Creator to see if there may be any glitches in the technology that need to be addressed with software or firmware updates.  This is certainly a strange outcome that one would be well-served to question.

Still, even assuming there are bugs in the technology, it’s easy to imagine based on what’s shown here that Matt Drudge may have a slight preference toward Mitt Romney.  Perhaps it’s a fluke that will work itself out over time, though.  But, if this pattern holds, it’ll be difficult to that the man who was once the bane of the establishment media hasn’t become a part of it.

-Walt Gilbert, Damn Dirty RINO